Regret
by Soothesayer16
Summary: Skipper is in love with Marlene, but Kowalski has already made a move on her. Skipper tries to determine exactly what his feelings are and what he should do about them. Skipper-centric.
1. From bad to worse

**Disclaimer: I don't own POM or any of its characters.**

**Hey guys and gals, I'm back on the writing scene. I'm very sorry to tell you that the wait for Medical Emergency's sequel will continue. I decide to write this and a few others to keep the writing muscles working. I'm currently stuck in my first, and by default my worst, case of writer's block for Medical Emergency, so feel free to give ideas. I doubt this will be as good as my earlier work, but it gives me some decent practice. Last time it was more Kowalski-centric, this one will focus on Skipper's thoughts.**

**Chapter 1**

The penguins sat on the couch in their HQ, watching a marathon of Private's favorite soap opera, an activity that had become an increasingly large part of their daily lives. They hadn't had a mission in weeks and each day seemed to blend into the next. All was quiet in the zoo, as each animal settled down for the night.

"I can't believe that Brad could betray his best friend's trust like that. They were like brothers! " Private wiped a tear from his eyes as he spoke.

Kowalski handed Private a tissue from the box on his lap. "I know! Love can be so cruel!"

Rico had regressed into a fit of sobbing as he held his doll girlfriend in his arms.

"What kind of man could pursue his brother's true love and run off with her? Is nothing sacred?"

Kowalski winced at Private's word, but his teammates were too enthralled with the story to notice. "Well, maybe Brad had feelings of his own and he acted on them. I mean you, can't really blame him if he was attracted to Martha. Besides, she and Scott weren't even a couple."

Private couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What? They're soul mates, they belong together."

Skipper had never seen such a sorry sight in all of his life. His squad of highly trained operatives was arguing about characters on a television show, a soap opera no less. "Men, I think we're starting to get soft." He walked over to stand in front of the television and addressed his men, irritation clearly visible on his face. "What happened to the disciplined team of penguins I used to know? Look at us now, our years of training going to waste. We've gotten too comfortable in this zoo, too gullible and relaxed."

Private spoke up nervously. "We just haven't had that many missions recently, Skipper. Maybe the zoo just doesn't needs us as much it used to."

"On the contrary, young Private, there's danger behind every corner. Beginning tomorrow, we are going to take our training to a whole new level and whip you boys back into shape." Skipper turned around, went to the back of the television, and yanked the chord out of the socket. "Lights out, men. See you in the morning at five hundred hours."

"But Skipper, that's two hours earlier than usual." Private almost never disagreed with his commanding officer, but he felt it was a little extreme.

"Well, as Benjamin Franklin once said "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Kowalski chimed in.

"I like you way of thinking, Kowalski. Time to hit the hay, gentlemen." Skipper watched as Rico and Private climbed into their respective bunks. He was surprised to Kowalski just standing there with a nervous look on his face. "Yes?"

_Okay Kowalski, you can do this. Just take a deep breath and say it._ "Skipper, I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"Go on."

_Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of._ "It's kind of personal." _Other than the threat of a beating, getting kicked of the team, or some kind of unimaginable punishment._

"It's okay, Kowalski, we're all family here."

"I think I would feel more comfortable if it was just the two of us, Skipper." Kowalski looked over at Rico and Private who were watching them attentively.

"Okay, Kowalski, let's go."Skipper went around the couch to the ladder that leads up to the secret entrance of the penguin exhibit. "Private, you and Rico better be asleep when I get back."

Upon hearing him, they quickly rolled over in their bunks.

_Now comes the hard part._ Kowalski watched his leader climbed up the ladder and followed suit.

When they got to the top of the penguin exhibit, Skipper was quick to get down to business. "So, what did you want to talk about, Kowalski? It must be either really important or really embarrassing for you to not want Private or Rico to hear."

"Actually, it's a little bit of both."

"Come on out with it, man!"

_Now or never. "_I wanted to talk to you about Marlene, more specifically, about you and Marlene."

_I guess I'm not as good at hiding my feelings as I thought I was. "_What do you mean, me and Marlene."

"Well, it just the way you two act around each other. Whenever she's around, you have this big smile on your face. Sometimes, it seems like you're flirting with her. She often comes to the HQ just to see you. Most recently, you've been spending a lot of time at her habitat. To put it simply, I was just wondering if there was something going on between you two, uh, romantically."

_If only it was as nice as you make it sound, Kowalski. I'm head over heels for Marlene, but it's just not mutual. _"No, were just friends, more like acquaintances really. I don't harbor any romantic feelings toward her whatsoever. Besides, a leader has no time for such things. Why did you want to know anyway?"

"I was thinking about asking her out on a date."

Skipper's immediate shock was clearly visible on his face. "What?" _Looks like I've got some competition._

"To, be honest, I really like Marlene. She's kind, understanding and always looks for the best in people. When she talks, it's hard to not get lost in her beautiful hazel eyes. Doris is very nice, but there's just something special about Marlene that I can't even put into words." Kowalski sighed, happy to have finally gotten this off of his chest.

"Sounds like you've got it bad, Kowalski. If you like her that much you don't have to have my permission."

"So, you're fine with me pursuing a relationship with Marlene?"

_Just great, my best friend is in love with the same girl as me; only he's going to ask her out. This couldn't possibly get any worse. _"I'm happy that you found someone, Kowalski. A little surprised, but happy for you none the less."

"Thanks, Skipper. It would mean a lot to me if you could be there when I ask her."

_Apparently, it can get worse._ "Of course I'll be there. What are friends for?"

"Not to ruin the mood, but I thought you frowned on us having any kind of romantic relationship."

"The way I see it, if you think that a relationship won't impede upon your duties, then I'll trust your judgment. Besides, Marlene usually tries to help on our missions in some way or another."

"Thanks, Skipper. I'm glad that we had this talk."

_Well, that makes one of us._ "If that's all, soldier, let's get to bed. We've got a big day tomorrow."

"See you in the morning." Kowalski returned to the ladder and descended.

Skipper looked over at Marlene's habitat, filled with sadness, disappoint and even anger_. Why did I lie about my feelings? Why didn't I say he couldn't ask her out? How am I supposed to feel if she says yes to him? What if she says no? Now I have to spend the rest of my wondering what could have been, all because of my fear of rejection. I guess Kowalski was right after all. Love can be so cruel._

Skipper descended the ladder solemnly, eagerly awaiting the dark nothingness that sleep would bring.

**After finishing this chapter, I didn't really like it that much. This isn't a Marski story, but I can't really say it's Skilene until closer to the end. Like always, I urge you to review. Don't feel bad about leaving a negative review, because it helps me make the changes that will improve both the story and my writing skills.**


	2. Dream

**Chapter 2**

_Skipper woke up in a somewhat disheartening silence. Usually the sound of Private's shallow breathing and Rico's violent snoring could be heard in the early morning. He looked to the bunks below him, but there was no one. _

"_Maybe I overslept." Skipper looked at the clock on the VCR, but it only blinked twelve o'clock. He slid out of his bunk and went around to the kitchen, expecting to find his men eating breakfast, but once again no one was there. Kowalski's lab was also empty._

"_Okay, they must be up on the platform training." Just as Skipper was walking toward the secret entrance, he heard the fish bowl cover slide open. Kowalski dropped down from the ladder, followed by Marlene._

"_Hey, Kowalski, can you explain to me why I woke up to an empty HQ and why exactly you brought a civilian in here with consulting me first?"_

_Kowalski chuckled. "Ha ha, very funny, Skipper but you know that everyone is at the party. We came down here to get you." _

"_What party? And furthermore, why wasn't I informed of it?"_

"_Well, the engagement party was your idea, Skipper."_

"_There's an engagement party, for whom?_

_Marlene walked over to Kowalski and rapped her arms around him "For us, silly."_

"_What?"_

"_Yep, and I couldn't have asked her if I didn't have the support of my best friend."_

"_So you guys are……" Skipper just stood there dumbfounded._

_Kowalski and Marlene answered at the same time. "We're getting married."_

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Skipper woke up so fast he slammed his head on the top of his bunk, resulting in a rather large bump. He was covered in sweat; his eyes were blood shot and his feathers we ruffled.

Private, Kowalski and Rico jumped into action, creating a semicircle around Skipper to ward off any would be assailants. They had never heard their fearless leader cry out in such away.

"Skipper, are you all right? We heard you scream like you were in pain." Private inquired.

"I had the single most traumatizing nightmare I have ever had in my entire life." Skipper smoothed down the feathers on his head and climb down from his bunk.

Kowalski got a good look at Skipper and could tell from his haggard expression that it was no understatement. "Skipper, no offense, but you look horrible. You should probably get some ice for that bump and rest a bit. It doesn't seem like you got much sleep."

"You guys don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine." Skipper said with slight agitation. He walked over to the kitchen and fixed himself his usual cup of coffee.

Private had never seen his commanding officer look so exhausted. "If the dream was so traumatizing, it might be better to talk about it."

"Guys, I said I'll be fine. Go topside and get ready for some intense training. I didn't forget about that new training regiment we're supposed to be starting today."

Private and Rico complied silently but both were deeply worried about their leader and how a dream could affect him so much. Instead of climbing up the ladder like his teammates, Kowalski walked over to Skipper and placed a flipper on his shoulder.

"Skipper, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, the same way I spoke to you last night. No matter how bad it is, I'm willing to listen."

_It's because you spoke to me last night that this is happening. _"Thanks, Kowalski but, no. You're my best friend and I think of you as a brother, but there are certain things that I going to have to come to terms with no matter how much it pains me. Besides today is your day, I don't want to ruin the mood for your big date."

Kowalski could have sworn that he had heard a hint of sarcasm or agitation in Skipper's voice but, quickly dismissed it. "Don't remind me. If you think you're up to it, I was wondering if you still could be there for support."

"Like I said last night, what are friends for?"

"Thanks, Skipper. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I guess I'm going to head up to get ready for training then." With that said Kowalski head towards the ladder.

Skipper stood watching Kowalski leave with a disappointed look in his eyes. _Maybe if you weren't such a good friend, it would be easier for me to be angry at you. You're a better person than me, Kowalski and you remind me of it every day. Marlene deserves a nice guy like you, not some heartless monster whose idea of a nightmare is his friend's happiness._

He put his coffee down on the kitchen counter and walked over to the ladder. He climbed slowly, feeling worse than he had when he woke up that morning.

**I know this chapter is short but, I felt that next part of the story doesn't really go with the theme of this chapter so it will have its own chapter. I finally figured out what direction I want to take the story so I will be able to update more often.**


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